Balancing Life And Caregiving: 5 Tips From Hospice Professionals
The role of family caregiver is challenging even in the very best of situations, make it hard balancing life and caregiving sustainably. In almost all cases, especially with terminal or chronic illnesses, the situation is progressive, so the needs and challenges increase over time.
Unfortunately, caregivers can become the proverbial frogs in a pot of ever-heating water, not recognizing when to jump out, regroup, and create a realistic plan. Learning how to balance life and caregiving is critical, or you risk developing caregiver fatigue and burnout. While this isn’t ideal for you, it also compromises the care and well-being of your loved one because worn-out or (worse) burned-out caregivers simply can’t provide the level of care most homebound or bedbound people need.Red Flag Statistics: Caregiving Without Balance Leads To Burnout
The title of an article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) says it all: Caregiving as a Risk Factor for Mortality… The article illuminates the alarming statistics related to spouse and unpaid family caregivers, saying: …the combination of loss, prolonged distress, the physical demands of caregiving, and biological vulnerabilities of older caregivers may compromise their physiological functioning and increase their risk for physical health problems, leading to increased mortality. Some of these statistics include:- More than 30% of spouse caregivers over the age of 70 die before the person receiving care does (some studies have found this statistic to be even higher).
- Caregivers have notably higher-than-normal rates of heart disease.
- Other studies find that 60% of caregivers struggle with mental health issues (typically depression and anxiety) they never experienced before caregiving.
5 Resources For Balancing Life And Caregiving For Greater Well-Being
Don’t fall into the micromanaging martyr abyss
We will lead with this one because the idea that “nobody can do as good as you can” may be accurate, but we guarantee they can do well enough to give you a break. Caregivers often feel so out of control of their lives that they begin taking control of the one thing they can – their role as Caregivers. This is perfectly normal. However, if you’re a caregiver, you become your worst enemy. In order to take breaks, nourish yourself, and create the balance between caregiving and life living, you must release the reigns and allow others to have their turn. If nothing else, this is important because when you do get sick, or sprain an ankle, or want to visit a newborn grandbaby, others need to know the ropes, and they won’t be able to do that if you don’t let them. So, avoid the trap of becoming a martyr, criticizing others for not doing it right, or otherwise becoming a “Caregiver Control Freak.” It’s not good for you, the one your caring for, or those who want to help but quickly run for cover if they aren’t welcome or are made to feel inadequate.Don’t wait too long to contact hospice
Most people sign up for hospice care so close to their death that their spouse and family can’t take advantage of all that we offer. Regardless of your care plan or desire to pursue treatment, it’s never too early to learn more about the hospice services in your area. When people ask, “When should we call hospice?” we say, “Now!” That’s especially true if you or a loved one has a terminal diagnosis, is experiencing moderate- to severe progression of an existing disease/condition, or when the client can no longer perform daily tasks for themselves. Even if you’re not ready for hospice, we can talk to you about palliative care options until you’re ready so you have access to caregiver support and resources 24 hours a day.Take advantage of respite care (aka “substitute caregivers”) when balancing life and caregiving
Respite care is the professional term for finding a qualified adult to give you a break. This might be a once-a-week break, or it may be more scheduled in alignment with your existing healthcare appointments, social engagements, etc. Respite care is available in many forms:- Asking for help from other family members and siblings (take shifts, ask for what you need, have out-of-towners come stay with mom/dad for a few days or a week so you can go on vacation…).
- Seeing if your religious or spiritual community offers volunteer respite care.
- Take advantage of your hospice volunteer team, which may be able to provide weekly time off.
- Connect with local caregiving agencies and see if they offer respite care, which can be funded by adult children/siblings/extended family who can’t provide the level of physical support you are.
- Adult daycare is an option for those well enough to leave the house, providing skilled care for adults while their primary caregivers get a break.
Ask for what you need from your community
If you’re caring for someone you love, odds are you’ve heard multitudes of people say, “let us know what we can do for you.” They mean it, but caregivers rarely actually ask. However, there are so many things your community can do for you (including your hospice team) to support you during this time. In addition to taking on some caregiving shifts so you can get a break, think about things like:- Having a friend set up a MealTrain so you have access to premade healthy meals, snacks, or gift cards.
- Doing chores or errands. If you could use support with household chores, pet walking, errand running, and so on, ask someone to set up a CareCalendar or LotsaHelpingHands page for you, so people can sign up to help with any task you need.
- Walk and exercise pets. If your pets are neglected, look into dog walking services. This is something a neighbor or friend may want to do for you, or you can pay a professional to come by to take your dogs on walks or to the dog park, change your rabbit’s cage, or pet and brush your cat.
- Ordering groceries online for delivery. If you haven’t done this yet, take the plunge. Almost every major grocery store now offers home delivery, so you can fill up your “cart” online and have fresh foods (or premade meals) delivered.