What Is Possible For My Body After Death?
One of the most sacred aspects of working with hospice and making end-of-life plans is the ability to choose what happens to your body – and how – after you die. It’s worth considering that our grandparents and great-grandparents were not usually whisked away by strangers from a mortuary and then processed before burial or cremation.
Instead, they were typically “laid in state” for some time (often three days or so), so family and friends had a chance to experience the finality of their death and have an opportunity to pay their respects. Even in the modern era, there are many possibilities for what happens to your body after you die – beyond the most common mortuary-cemetary/cremation routes.What Would You Like To Happen To Your Body After Death?
Part of creating thorough end-of-life plans involves the practical aspects of how you want your body handled after you die. After decades in the hospice field, we’ve heard countless patients say things like, “What do I care, really? I’ll be dead. Just bury/cremate me….” On the other end of the spectrum are those with all their burial or cremation plans under contract with a mortuary and plans drawn up for their funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. Even so, there are ways you and your loved ones can tend to your body before all of the business is set in motion, bringing more presence, reality, reckoning, and sacredness to the process. Regardless, once we really get to know our clients and they move closer toward their end of life, deep conversations often bring up feelings about caring for their dead bodies that they didn’t know they had.Planning Your Vigil Can Support After-Death Care Plans For Your Body
One way to start considering what you’d want for your body after you die is to think about what you want – and how you want to be cared for – during your last week, days, and hours of life. This period is called a Vigil. You can research how you’d like your vigil to be supported. As you do that work, it naturally transcends into thinking about what you want for the moments, hours, or days between your moment of death and when your body is prepared for burial, cremation, or whatever other plans you’ve made.Ideas To Consider After You Die
Unless you are 100% set on what you want, we recommend checking in with your closest loved ones to see what they want or would benefit from. This may look like:Waiting for a while before calling the mortuary.
Sometimes, people’s lack of knowledge about “what to do” causes them to jump into action before they know what they’re doing. Perhaps this makes sense in the situation, but many people regret that they didn’t take the time to slow down and soak up this last chance to be with the physical form of the one they loved. However, you are also welcome to make plans that:- Give those present time to witness and honor this sacred moment.
- Give other dear loved ones a chance to come, sit, and spend a moment in the finality of your life and death.
- Allow dedicated caregivers the chance to say goodbye.
- Have special poems read, songs played, or candles burned to honor your spirit.
- Allow pets to come in and have the chance to see that the body is no longer living.
- Offer space for anyone there to take deep breaths in the silence, praying, meditating, or simply honoring the moment.
Having your body after death washed, dressed, and anointed (blessed/honored)
Washing and clothing the body, placing it in a shroud (if desired), and adorning it with flowers or precious items have been part of human death rituals for tens of thousands of years. Women in the community traditionally did this, but not always. This can be an incredibly moving experience for the chosen ones you have asked—and they have accepted. All it requires is a clean cloth or two, a bowl of warm water (maybe sprinkled with your favorite scented oil or herbs), and tender loving care. After your body has been washed, you can have a blessing said over you. If you don’t have a particular religious or spiritual leader of your own, hospice chaplains are happy to do this for you – and we can help you select the words you’d like spoken or read for this meaningful moment. You can also have a trusted caregiver, loved one or friend do this for you. It can be as simple as: Bless these eyes that have seen so much. Bless this heart that has loved, been broken, healed, and loved then again. Bless this body that housed and carried your name’s spirit throughout his/her life. Bless these feet that have walked paths both known and unknown. May your name find peace and grace.Lying in state
Speak to your funeral home about opportunities to lay in state, which is also known as a viewing. While we’re most used to attending viewings in the mortuary, there are ways to have them held in the home or a place of your choosing. Speak with your hospice service, chaplain, or death doula to learn more about your options. You can also visit the National Home Funeral Alliance website or contact them for more information. When people have had their chance to say goodbye, your mortuary of choice can come to take the body for whatever plans you’ve made.Burial, Cremation, Or Donation?
The final decision you have to make is how your body will be disposed of. In the recent past, there were three basic options:- Burial
- Cremation
- Donation to science
- Green burials. This term is rather broad and worth researching in more detail. Some traditional cemeteries offer a version of “green burial” but legally have to retain the cement vault in the grave. Or, you can work with cemeteries exclusively dedicated to green burial practices.
- Natural burial. Natural burial grounds are growing in popularity, with a return to the roots of our culture’s burials. Some are located in nature preserves (like Honeycreek Woodlands), and others are within city limits (like Altlanta’s Milton Fields). Cemeteries honoring natural burial rituals usually have their own rules, which may include things like no embalming, specific no-toxin coffins/shrouds, and only native plants allowed to be planted on or near the site.
- Mushroom suits. You may have heard about the mushroom suit concept, which jumped into the spotlight after the death of actor, Luke Perry. Mushroom suits use spores of mycelium that expedite the composition of the body. This is one way to participate in a burial but also makes the composting process happen faster than it might have otherwise.
- Composting. Human composting, natural organic reduction (NOR), is another branch of the green end-of-life/burial movement. Spreading ashes around a tree or in a garden can actually harm – more than help – if the ashes are not properly distributed with rich soil. Human composting expedites the decomposition of the body, usually between 30 to 60 days. Afterward, your composted remains can be returned to loved ones, mixed with healthy soil, for planting. Or, you can donate your composted remains to a soil conservation organization.
- Cremation. While traditional cremation (alkaline hydrolysis) is an option, some crematories now offer water cremation, which uses an alkaline fluid to dissolve the body’s tissues. All that is left are bone fragments that are then pulverized into an “ash” that you can keep in an urn or sprinkle the same way you would with traditional cremation remains.
- Donating to science. You also have the option of donating your body to science. This would be another topic to research in detail. Many universities offer this option, and a common course of action is to embalm the body to support medical student studies. However, you would need to connect with an agency that accepts donated bodies to learn more about how your body would be used. When they are done with the body, the remains are buried or cremated in accordance with your wishes.